The Opportunity

A Difficult Moment

Let’s call him “H.”  I first met him two years ago.  He had been through cancer, a heart transplant, gangs, drugs.  I was consulted for a mood disorder, possible psychosis.  But by far, his biggest issue was addiction.  Without the drug treatment, we felt helpless to successfully address the psychiatric stuff.  Multiple attempts had not worked.  Even the incarcerations he had experienced had not deterred him.

… A Wonderful Moment

I got called to see him recently.  He was back in for a small procedure, and he had some concerning changes in behavior. My trainee saw him first, and gathered the “facts.”  By the time I got there he was better – in fact, it seemed the concerning behavior had been an anesthesia reaction wearing off.  And, he was 8 months sober!  I could have done my usual introduction.  I could have asked him why he was in the hospital, and how was his pain?  Instead, I began with, “I took care of you two years ago, and the chart says you have 8 months sobriety, that’s amazing! How are you?”  He lit up, and began to tell me his story of the intervening time and what his life was like now.  He told me of his dreams.  And he told me about his health and his body.

 He was discharging soon. I got him an outpatient follow-up in psychiatry.  Beyond that, there wasn’t anything for me to start for him. So, I basked in his transformation.  The one thing that he needed most to change his life, he had found.  He was doing the work.  It wasn’t a story of receptors or brain neurophysiology. It was a story of a man who had survived the roughest underbelly of our city: a man who had beaten disease after disease to keep his life.  And now, having received a new pumping heart, he had received a new spiritual one.

..An Astonishing Moment

 It was time to go.  He wanted to hug me.  I gently declined that (hospital policy).  As he was now clearly focused on his spiritual life, I asked him if he wanted to lead us in prayer.  As he accepted, I wondered: would he ask God for strength?  For health?  For protection?

 “Dear God, please bless the hearts of Tony and Sara” he said.  “They care deeply about people and need to touch many.”  He went on as I listened --- stunned, a little embarrassed.  Here was I, who seem to have health and a comfortable life, receiving blessing from someone who had seemingly needed so much.  And what did I do to earn his blessing?  I didn’t do surgery.  I didn’t prescribe his meds.  I just witnessed him.  I reveled in his (not our) amazing successes. He had fought and fought and fought for this moment.

 As I walked away, I pondered that moment.  What had I done to earn such a magnificent gift?

Every Moment – the Good, the Bad, the Terrible & the Glorious –

Are Worthy of Witness. Being Present Is the Key.

Our fables are full of stories of righteous people, sages, wizards, or angels who appear in disguise on Earth.  They present us with the opportunity to do the right thing.  They give us the opportunity to see both the divine and the humanity in others.  When the protagonist of the story meets the challenge, they are rewarded richly.  I have many of these stories, where simply witnessing and supporting the humanity resulted in such a gift. Could H. have been such a lesson for me?  I am grateful that, on that afternoon, as rushed as I felt to finish – that instead, I did the right thing.