There’s Something Wrong.

I was in England at dinner with British friends of ours, and gun violence was the topic. "We just can't wrap our heads around the gun violence in America" they were saying.

At that moment, I got a text from friends who are frequently in Highland Park letting us know that they were safe and had not been near the shooting. A shooting - had just happened - minutes from my home and office - at that very moment!

But the Violence Didn’t Stop.

I learned that the same day, there were mass killings in Chicago's South Side, Gary, Indiana; and Kenosha, Wisconsin. And the impact was felt both far across the ocean, where I happened to be that day, and right here at home. In this country, in this state, in my neighborhood.

Here, with my patients, in this office.

Our Job is NOT to Make the Anger Go Away.

There is something really truly wrong in America. And when something is wrong, the first thing we must do is to validate that truth. In working with my patients, I find that I don't want to medicate away their horror and anger. It is wrong. It should make us cry. It should make us angry. And we can help patients understand their anger as a means to promote action at any level.

Most of our patients have never seen healthy expressions and uses of anger. Many of them have never experienced post-traumatic growth in a way that felt good. This persistent, awful, escalating gun violence problem is an opportunity -- a terrible tragic reason -- but opportunity, nonetheless, to help them acknowledge their anger and learn to use it for good.

We Can Make Things Right — We Can Take Needed Action.

Finally, I want to point out that there are millions of good things that happen in America every day - just as real and even more prevalent, in spite of lack of coverage in a media biased toward the negative. There are people to admire and role models to aspire to - and role models to be. We need to help people remember that.

I grieve with my patients and all of you. But this is not a moment to hide, though sometimes I want to. It's a moment to promote agency, appropriate grief and anger, and to help patients find their healthy voices and actions.

That will be true independence.